The child is afraid of going to the toilet in a big way: the reasons and ways of solving the problem

The child is afraid of pooping: what to do and the advice of a psychologist

The child is afraid to go to the toilet in a big way: reasons and ways of solving the problem


Many babies are afraid of being defecated at an early age.

Parents find it very strange to be afraid to sit on a pot or toilet, and doctors call this problem “psychological constipation” and believe that it is a serious enough problem, as it can cause gastrointestinal dysfunction. What if the child is afraid of going to the toilet in a big way? This article will tell you about it.

Fear of pooping in a child

Each child is an individual and has his or her own fear in particular.

Phobia of defecation manifests itself in the following problems: – The child may refuse to go to the toilet because of an unpleasant smell or unfamiliar objects that are there; – Some children do not go to the toilet in a big way in kindergarten or school. This phobia leads to the fact that the crumb is squeezed and restrains the process of defecation. The result is a hardening of the faeces, which causes pain during defecation. Because of this, his fears are only getting worse, and the problem is getting worse. In some cases, these children have defecation in their pants, which causes discontent on the part of their parents. However, it is worse if the child restrains the defecation and the liquid stool begins to seep through the hardened faeces. This phenomenon requires the immediate intervention of health workers.

Cause of fear of defecation

Komarowski's famous pediatrician highlights three main aspects of fear of going to the toilet: -Health problems – the presence of dysbiosis in a child's history, anal fissures, the presence of worms and other factors that cause constipation.

In this case, the child refuses to defecate because he or she feels painful during the defecation; – the reasons for the pedagogical nature – imply that the child is not raised properly. Even a mother's dissatisfaction with this situation can provoke fear of pooping in the future. But the most common pedagogical reason for this is the wrong pot teaching.

Some parents do this in a way that is too aggressive; – Psychological reasons, such as fear of the pot, fear of the toilet room, shyness, protests against the demands of adults. In order to overcome the fear of defecation, it is necessary first to find out the reasons that cause the baby's fear.

How do I overcome my medical reasons?

When contacting a paediatrician with this phobia, the first thing a specialist asks is that there are crumbs with health problems. This is due to the fact that most often the baby is afraid to poop after constipation and discomfort after him. In order to determine a clear clinical picture, the doctor will examine the child and prescribe tests.

Based on the results of laboratory tests, the doctor will be able to determine the nature of the defecation pain. Most often it is hidden in the following reasons: – dysbiosis; – Non-observance of healthy diet and active lifestyle; – Development of intestinal infection; – Presence of helminths in the body crumbs; – Presence of cracks in the anus or hemorrhoids.

To eliminate the above reasons pediatricians advise to follow the following recommendations: – not to abuse enemas, as they weaken intestinal peristalsis and can cause the development of additional fears in the baby.

In some cases, it is allowed to use the ready-made microclimate “Microlax”; – to introduce fresh vegetables and fruits, berries, dried fruits, grain bread, oatmeal and buckwheat porridge, vegetable oils and fermented milk products into the baby's diet.

Remove from the menu crumbs products with carbohydrates, as well as sweets, smoked meats, potatoes, legumes; – Increase the amount of water drunk by the child; – Give the child laxatives, but only as prescribed by the doctor. Often children are prescribed syrups containing lactulose, such as “Dufalak” or “Senedexin”, as well as glycerin candles.

However, the frequent use of such drugs leads to the fact that the intestinal peristalsis weakens and the intestines can not empty naturally; – from cracks in the back aisle is best to put a baby candles with sea buckthorn oil. Patience, care and love of parents will help your child to forget the unpleasant feelings that arose during constipation.

Extension of pedagogical causes

Fear of the pot may arise due to improper parental behavior. Child psychologists and pediatricians recommend not to focus on teaching the child to the pot. In order for your child to learn to walk on the pot, you should use the game forms, praise and encouragement after each successful emptying.

What mistakes do parents make in teaching your child to walk on the pot? The most common of these is early learning. Control your needs, including the process of defecation, the baby can be about a year and a half or two. If you make a toddler before this age or scold him for unsuccessful excreta, the child will be afraid of the pot.

Another common parental error is shouting and threatening if the baby does not poop in the pot. This also includes aggressive attempts to sit down and keep the crumb on the pot until he does his thing. Of course, the original goal will be achieved – the baby will empty his intestines, but it will have a huge negative impact on the psyche.

What do you do in this situation? First of all, it is necessary to make it easy for the crumbs to get to know the pot. This process can be accompanied by games, reading your favorite book, singing songs and positive emotions. You can tell your child a story about a hero of the same sex and age who was afraid to sit on a pot.

At the end of the fictional story, the protagonist must successfully overcome his fear. Such a fairy tale will help motivate the baby and he will want to sit on the pot. Okay, if the kid at the store picks out a pot himself. You can also drop toys on it and tell it what they're doing.

Effectively helps to play a problematic situation with a child in a story role-playing game. For example, a favorite teddy bear in the game will be afraid to poop, and the baby calms him down and explains that there is nothing wrong with it.

How to overcome the psychological causes of fear of defecation?

One of the reasons for fear of emptying the intestines in a child may be fear of feces. You can help to overcome this phobia by explaining to your child the natural processes in the body. Some children have established toilet habits, such as defecating only in the diaper.

So if they spontaneously want to go to the toilet in a big way, they hold back the urge of the intestine, as adults hold on to vomiting.

If the baby refuses to empty his intestines as a protest, the parents should loosen their control over the situation, show patience and allow the baby to use the toilet as he pleases. It's better for the health of the baby to poop into the diaper than it is in general.

Gradually, the problem should disappear on its own. What to do if a child is afraid to poop will tell the famous pediatrician Dr. Komarowski:
Regardless of the reasons for the refusal of the baby to empty his intestines, parents need to be patient and help the baby to adjust the work of his gastrointestinal tract.

Do not scold the baby and aggravate the problem. Parental affection and understanding, as well as the lack of painful feelings in the process of defecation, will lead to the fact that the baby will not be afraid and will have no problem to empty his intestines.

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Psychological constipation in the child: causes and effective treatments

The child is afraid to go to the toilet in a big way: causes and solutions of the problem

Human organism is not just a matter of timing: all systems provide not only physiological comfort, but also emotional comfort. But sometimes it happens that a well-coordinated mechanism fails. The reasons can be quite objective: the baby has eaten cereal or received a plate of rice porridge for breakfast. The situation is much more serious when the difficulties with defecation become psychological in nature, in other words, children are afraid of pooping.

What are the reasons for such fear and what are the methods of solving the problem?

Why children are afraid to walk down the toilet or pot in general

Wherever they go, they need to understand what psychological constipation is. This is the hardening of the faeces as a result of the fact that the baby wants to take care of himself and suffers. Thus, a vicious circle is created: the child is afraid to go to the toilet for a long time, and then can not do it normally.

. In medicine, psychological constipation is called neurogenic.

Purely the appearance of psychological constipation is observed at two years of age and coincides with the period of accustomed to the pot

Deficiencies with defecation tend to occur for the first time in 2-3 years. This is the time when the child is beginning to realize his or her physiological needs, but does not yet fully understand their necessity and naturalness.

There are cases when kids 2-3 years old thought that pooping was shameful.

Older children usually have psychological constipation if they have experienced such a problem at an early age and, importantly, have not overcome it.

. From the age of one year onwards, the child should poop 1-2 times a day. Once every 2 days, a longer delay in defecation is considered constipation.

The causes of psychological constipation are not so many, so parents can almost unmistakably determine the nature of the problem that caused the disorder of the stool.

  1. Bad memories. Maybe the baby survived a bad bowel emptying. For example, there was diarrhea, and Mom was very upset when she saw the pants dirty. Now the karapuz doesn't want to upset his family, so he thinks it's right to restrain his urges. Or not so long ago there was constipation, and then when visiting the toilet, the crumbs were painful, there were microcracks around the anus – also unpleasant memories.
  2. Sharpness. Very often neurogenic constipation is observed in babies who start going to kindergarten. It is likely that the baby is ashamed to poop in front of other kids, as he is used to doing his business at home in a familiar environment. By the way, this is the most common cause of difficulties with psychological defecation in schoolchildren – the public toilet is disgusting.
  3. Stress. This reason is not randomly identified from the previous one. The fact is that parents should treat with great trembling and attention to the way the baby recovers: how often, in what place (on the toilet or on the pot, and on the small – in yellow, and in general – in favorite, with the back). These little things create psychological comfort for the child during the process of coping with the need. Don't neglect them. Fear of punishment. We're talking about the important thing about potty training. Not all children understand from the first time that it is necessary to empty the intestines not in panties, but on a children's toilet. And parents, irritated with the circumstances related to washing and cleaning, begin to sharply and loudly condemn the baby for such a mistake. Here's the result: the crumb finds the easiest way to solve the problem – do not poop.

Collective potting in kindergarten can be a challenge and cause psychological constipation, especially if the child is shy

If the child has problems with the stool, it is necessary to act immediately, otherwise the consequences may be too serious:

  • Bloating caused by stagnation of faeces causes pain in the heart and other organs, which is explained by the reflex response to constipation;

    • the lack of appetite, which makes the crumb look thinner;
    • the burp, which is accompanied by the exit of unpleasant air and disgusting taste in the mouth
    • Mood change – the baby becomes capricious, less active, able to work, painful because of intoxication of the body.

    . If the problem with the stool is not solved, then by 5-6 years begins to break the sleep, reduces concentration and memory, changes the color of the skin (they become yellowish shade).

    How to help a child and save him from the fear of getting on the pot

    Three directions:

    • Consult a gastroenterologist and take an analysis for dysbacteriosis (determination of the amount of lacto- and bifidobacteria) and coprology (detection of parasites);
    • soften the faeces (so that they go out painlessly and no further cracks are formed);
    • remove the emotional block (to make sure that this situation does not happen again).

    . Constipation is very important not to give a chance for appearance, that is, it is necessary to watch what the baby eats: include in the diet more fruits and vegetables, reduce the amount of sweets and flour.

    In case of any health problems, a specialist should be consulted, and constipation is no exception

    Treatment to help you go to the toilet

    When microflora imbalances or parasites are detected, the doctor will prescribe an effective treatment and find a suitable diet. The correct diet includes:

    • juices (beet, carrot, pumpkin);
    • water (the daily rate is calculated by the formula: 50 ml per 1 kg of weight);
    • dried fruits (prunes, apricots, raisins);
    • sour milk products (kefir, ryazhenka, sour milk).

    . Fermented milk products “not older” are considered useful for 1-1.5 days. In the future, there is no positive effect from them, but to cause constipation of such kefir-buckling women can. Therefore, it is better to cook homemade sour milk.

    Take 800 ml of hot but not boiling milk, a crust of black bread, 2 tablespoons of sour cream at room temperature.

    Everything is mixed, put in a warm place (for example, near the battery) and drink for 12 hours after the thickening.

    If the baby does not want to eat vegetables in raw form, “hide” them in cutlets or soups. Doesn't like soup? Then we turn it into a mashed potato soup and pour it into a bottle. The main thing is for the child to get what he or she needs for the correct digestion.

    If the child needs a bottle to eat the right food, agree that the goal justifies the means

    As well, it is very useful to give the child 1 hour of Vaseline oil on an empty stomach. It is not absorbed, so it softens the faeces well and facilitates the defecation process.

    And, of course, the specialist can recommend laxatives to ease the chair:

    • Nomase;
    • Duphlak;
    • Goodlak;
    • Portalak syrup;
    • Livolok-PB;
    • Romflak.

    But only the doctor should prescribe the medicine.

    Psychological care to overcome the problem

    First of all, Mom and Dad need to be patient. Of course, at 2-3 years old the child understands everything, he can be explained that pooping – it does not hurt, is not shameful and is not punishable. But! This has to be done on a crumb level, and as many times as it takes to realize.


    If you've caused (candles, syrup, diet) the desire to poop, get ready for the baby to fight himself, hold on to the last one, cry. But finally, it's gonna happen. True, in the pants.

    You can not scold for it in any case! In this situation, it doesn't matter where, it's all about what happened. Praise, kiss and accent that the tummy has stopped hurting, the butt is fine.

    When the block is removed, gradually accustom to the pot: try to catch the moment X, bring the pot, enjoy the fact that the poppy got where it should be, etc.

    Fairytale therapy

    This technique is used in a variety of situations, and in the case of psychological constipation as well. Task is to relax the baby, show him that you must poop, but you can not tolerate it.

    Fairy tales carry children away, relax, and tune in, which helps to convince a child to sit down on a pot

    Example of such a useful fairy tale can be a description of the life of a caccaucasus and a pukusica that live in the ass, and are very upset if they are not allowed to go out.

    Or a story about a pookie that lives in the ass and knocks its head on the door, so that as soon as it opens it immediately pops out. But if the door is locked for a long time, the pooper takes offense, lies across the street and can no longer get out.

    And the task of the child is to help her get out. And to do that, you need to get a cure: put a candle that tells the poop to go out.

    Platlin games

    This trick helps if you see that the baby is beginning to hold back. Mould plasticine balls, knead them into pancakes, roll them out on paper – these actions are very good at relaxing muscles and certainly distracting from unpleasant thoughts.

    Dr. Komarowski's advice

    Dr. Komarowski, who is well known to many, assures that constipation, if not caused by Hirschsprung's disease (undeveloped nerve endings in any part of the intestine, which leads to the accumulation of faeces), does not require a hospital.

    Evgeny Olegovich advises to consult with his pediatrician and discuss the possibility of using glycerin candles and lactulose syrup (e.g. Dufalak). It can be used from the first months of life.

    The action of the drug is based on the fact that there is an increase in the volume of faeces, as well as stimulated by the urge to defecation through the reproduction of bifidobacteria in the digestive tract.

    Having solved the problem at the physiological level, it is necessary to deal with prevention, which, according to Komarovskiy, will eliminate the psychological block as well:

    • to organise the right diet;
    • to teach your baby to live an active lifestyle;
    • not to clutter the body, not to refuse harmful foods (fast food, sweets, carbonated beverages, etc.));
    • see that the stool is regular (it is advisable to teach the baby to sit on the pot at the same time);
    • to breathe fresh air;
    • to drink more water;
    • to create a trusting atmosphere in the family.

    Prophylaxis is needed to prevent psychological constipation

    What to do if a child doesn't poop every day: Dr. Komarowski's advice is video

    Psychological constipation is a problem that needs to be solved simultaneously on several fronts: physiological, medical and emotional.

    This is without prejudice to the fact that the effectiveness of any measure depends on the patience, attention and love of the parents, who are the closest people to the baby.

    This connection with Mom and Dad is very important not only in principle in life, but also so that the karapuz is not afraid to go to the toilet in general.

    • Natalia Vasilishin


    The child is afraid of pooping: solve a delicate problem with caution

    The child is afraid of going to the toilet in a big way: reasons and ways of solving the problem

    Nutritional errors always affect intestinal function. Everyone knows what constipation is. In childhood, this problem can lead to a fear of going to the toilet in general.

    You noticed that the child is afraid to poop on the pot or the process of defecation itself is terrifying. Store patience and endurance, and most importantly – inspire your baby that together you will certainly cope with a difficult situation. Let's understand the possible causes of this phenomenon and make a consistent plan of action to neutralize fear.

    Cause of fear

    Many parents start to teach their babies to go to the pot after a year. Very often it turns into a tragedy: the snare gun refuses to do his business in another place than his own pants. Be patient and don't get upset (read the article on the topic: How to accustom your baby to a pot?>>>).

    Remember! The baby's brain is ripe for emptying by about a year and a half and later.

    Till a year and a half there is no sense in regularly planting the baby on the pot, you just need to gradually introduce him to the tool, in an accessible language to tell what it is needed, to come up with a plot – role-playing games or fairy tales on the topic: how and why toys go to the pot.

    If you want to try out the karapuz's own toiletries, don't interfere, but cheerfully support his idea. The aim is to make a friend of the child with this object in a relaxed way. It can be a psychological rebellion or a real phobia, which you need to get rid of gradually. Find out what the scare of a carapuzzle, a pot or the emptying process itself is. It will determine your future actions to free you from the fear of pooping.

    We identify the main perpetrators of anxiety:

    • physiological constipation due to impaired digestion;
    • rectal cracks (can only be determined by a physician);
    • early or acute pot accustomment (read the current article: From what age should a child be accustomed to a pot?>>>>);
    • long sitting on it (may cause rectal prolapse!);
    • the lack of praise from parents for a successful visit to the toilet;
    • too shy a child;
    • inappropriate jokes from parents about emptying;
    • change of scenery (attending kindergarten or school).

    Very common is a situation where a child is afraid to poop after constipation. Once the pain has been experienced, the baby will remember it for a long time and tolerate it until the last one, prevent the defecation act, which will lead to fecal delay and unpleasant feelings again, and go out of the closed circle.

    If the child is afraid to poop in the pot, and walks in his pants without problems, the reason is clearly in the subject. Or rather – in the wrong actions of parents on the chosen tactics of accustoming, or – in the immaturity of the baby. Also read the current article: The child does not poop in the pot, how to teach?>>>>

    Age characteristics of fear

    Psychological constipation is more likely to affect children under 4 years of age. At this age, it is difficult for a child to explain why it hurts to go to the toilet and to talk about digestive processes.

    Some children easily forget about temporary difficulties, while others are unable to overcome their fears for a long time.

    In this case, you will need a great deal of patience and tact, and perhaps the help of the appropriate professionals.

    The problem can be found after 4 years, especially during school attendance. At this age, the psychological trauma associated with shyness is more frequent.

    1. Your actions should be based on an understanding of the child's difficulty, talk to them and explain how to build a defecation process without undue anxiety;
    2. The majority of Russian schools have faulty toilet facilities, the best option would be to teach children to cope at home;
    3. And if they need it at school, let them ask for it during the lesson. Still, a child's health is more important than knowledge.

      Psychologist's advice on how to cope

      Parenting's task is to improve the baby's digestion. Keep an eye on the amount of liquid you are consuming. Depending on age, up to 2 litres a day. Include in your child's daily diet vegetables and fruits known for their laxative effects (beetroot, prunes, carrots, apricots, etc.). Don't make it constipated.

      What do I do if my child is afraid to poop even after a normal meal?

      • Analyze your actions, maybe you're too concerned about the problem: You don't have to ask your baby if he wants to go to the bathroom in general – this will only make the situation worse;
      • That's better, don't ask at all, because if there is a fear of pooping, even if he wants to go to the bathroom, he will definitely say no;
      • You have probably noticed that when a child is going to poop, he behaves accordingly (comes down, hides behind a corner, worries). Your task: to catch the moment carefully;
      • Try the fairytale therapy method: frequent playback of the potted theme with your favorite toys will help your child to establish contact with the necessary toilet item, make friends with it, stop being afraid;

      It is important to know! Get used to the pot gradually, unobtrusively, in a playful way, without any sudden movements. Do not make your child sit on it for long periods of time – it is very harmful and dangerous for the health of the child.

      • If the child, by habit, went into his pants, do not scold him. Avoid punishment and screaming for dirty laundry. Try to react calmly to the situation. Just change clothes and that's it.

      Otherwise, the fear of pooping will be compounded by the anxiety of being punished or upset by parents. A child may even think that they are not worthy of your love, which is a threat to their mental development.

      If a child is 2 years old and afraid of pooping, try to identify the cause and take action. For example, various safe laxatives will help to empty the intestines painlessly. Gradually the pain will be forgotten

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