Why does the child cheat

Why does the child cheat and what to do with it?

Why does the child cheat

Live without illusions: Everyone lies if we approach the truth literally. You could say you're lying to a kid when you tell him how you found him in the cabbage, right? So don't get hysterical at the slightest “lying” incident. Our author Yulia Gainanova and psychiatrist Ekaterina Stroynova explain why a child can lie and what to do with it to parents.

“A child at an early age is initially truthful and tells his parents everything he thinks and feels.

At the age of about four to five, he easily fantasizes and sometimes slips into a fictional world so much that he imagines the truth because he thinks so sincerely.

At the age of five to six, he makes up fairy tales he wants to be a part of. The older child is already more and more often telling the truth consciously,” explains Ekaterina Stroynova, a psychiatrist,

It is better to understand why the child has lied. There are reasons that really require our attention and wise reaction.

I'm afraid of you!

Number one on the list – the child is afraid that he will be punished, yelled at or deprived of something. So it's easier to lie, especially in the little things. This is often the case with children whose parents demand too much.

Mom wants Katya to study for one fiver, but Katya is not a robot, she is a human being, and there are fiver in her life. And then, in order not to hear the accusations of his own indifference, Katya prefers to lie. Mom should think about the unrealistic nature of her own expectations, not about her daughter's behavior. For Katya, lying is a way to adapt to a family situation where she is not heard or listened to.

If your child is lying out of fear, it's like a red light bulb saying “something went wrong. The higher the expectations, the harder it is for a child who needs unconditional love.

If you're freaking out, letting yourself be flipped, ignoring the child, it's understandable. Change the course of action. The kids need to know that you won't push them away, that you respect and love them anyway.

And help fix it! By the way, the child is not necessarily afraid of the punishment of slaps and shouts. Ignoring, criticizing, morals, parenting, and anger attacks are all reasons to keep the truth to better times.

If the child knows that when he breaks the plate, he or she just needs to remove it, he or she will never lie that it was a mouse that ran and waved its tail.

Explain that no matter what happens, you won't punish him or her, but will find a way out of the situation together. Just be sure to keep your word! Broke it – fix it, got a “D” – study, hurt – apologize. These are all working and understandable behaviors.

Discuss them in a calm atmosphere before something unpleasant has already happened.

When a child has lied to you, take your time to expose him or her. There's a great way to find out why and not to lose his dignity. For example, the son says that it was Vasya who called the girl names in class.

Okay, accept his lies, but try to find out why Vasya did it? What did you want to do with it? Is Vasya ashamed and what is he going to do next? If the communication develops, your child will most likely admit that it has nothing to do with Vasya.

What do we want in the end? Help you with your situation. And on the example of someone else's Vasya, it's safer and easier to do.

Sweet revenge

Tanya cries – she was pushed by Dima and dropped a ball into the river. And now Tanya tells her parents that Dima not only pushed her, but also grabbed her by the hair and took her mobile phone. Why does Tanya do that? She's taking revenge. The girl does not know how to solve conflict situations, does not know how to defend the boundaries.

Teach the child to protect their interests without lying. For example, rehearse how you can report your emotions without insulting the other person, running away, crying or even cheating.


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