How to teach a child to sleep with parents

How can wean a child to sleep with parents

How to teach a child to sleep with parents

Sleep together is a common practice in young families, leading to problems with the baby's “moving” to a separate bed. A joint sleep of mother and baby helps to maintain breastfeeding, prolongs the rest, improves the condition of mother and newborn baby. Parents of two-year-old children face a problem: how to wean a child to sleep with parents.

Sleep worthiness

Brain activity does not stop when resting – there is a sorting of knowledge, skills acquired during the day, the process of formation of neural pathways for learning. Dreams are about forgetting failures, relieving pain.

Lack of sleep leads to various problems:

  • disturbance of metabolic processes, strengthening of fatty tissue deposits, development of obesity;
  • delayed development process – growth hormone is synthesized during night rest (in the deep sleep phase);
  • hyperactivity – the absence of a proper rest leads to a disturbance of the control of emotions, there is a process of inhibition of nervous excitation;
  • disturbance of the process of tissue regeneration;
  • disturbance of concentration;
  • damage to the cellular structure of the brain.

Profits of sleeping together

Positive properties of sleeping together with a child:

  1. This ensures a good, long rest. The newborn child near her mother feels safe and maintains emotional contact, which was born during the period of intrauterine development. Sleeping together allows you to feed your baby without leaving bed.
  2. Stimulates lactation. Physiological bonding enhances the production of breast milk.
  3. Mental health of the baby. The physiological connection between the baby and mother has a positive effect on the emotional and psychological development of the baby. Crumbs who have slept with their mothers have fewer phobias.
  4. Working mothers can compensate for the lack of attention during the day.

Deficiencies in sharing a vacation

The answer to the question of how to discourage a child from sleeping with their parents can be weighed against the advantages and disadvantages:

  1. Sleeping together until the age of one year is dangerous for the baby's life – parents can crush the newborn. A mother may fall asleep while feeding, which will result in strangulation of the crumb.
  2. Risk of infection. An immature child's body gets pathogenic microorganisms when sleeping together.
  3. Rest with children at 2 years of age leads to a deterioration in the quality of sleep – the baby often wakes up. Waking up crumbs makes parents wake up.
  4. Delayed independence. The lack of personal space in the crumb makes it impossible to form individual qualities, one's own opinion.
  5. Lack of intimate contact in adults.
  6. Formation of chronic insomnia, development of psychological problems against the background of excessive attachment to the mother.

How to wean a child from sleeping with his or her mother at 1-3 years of age

The best time to wean a child from sleeping with their parents is when they reach the age of 2, when the benefits of a separate holiday can be explained to the child.

If the child falls asleep in the parent's bed, the baby should be transferred to a separate bed. It is recommended to start with a day's sleep. The kid should understand that the bed is his own territory, the mother's bed, the dad is the parents' territory.

After reaching the age of 2, the baby tries to show independence. It is necessary to use this phenomenon, gradually convincing the kid that the kid is an adult, and adults sleep separately.

How to teach a child to sleep in their own room?

Psychologists say that 1-3 years old is the ideal age to teach a child to sleep in a separate room, without traumatizing the child's psyche. Children sleep 1 year more willingly than 6 years apart from their mothers.

To teach the baby to sleep in a separate room by creating a favorable atmosphere, comfort. In the room you need to create a pleasant color scheme of walls, toys, install interesting furniture.

How else can wean a child from sleeping together?

Happy moving. It is recommended to make the event for the baby bright, festive. As a protector, buy a soft toy to protect your child during the rest period.

When the child is used to his or her own bedroom, it is important to support the child. Create a sleepwalking ritual. Put the baby to bed, read books, put the toys to bed. You should stay close to the baby until he's asleep. It will allow to less traumatize the immature psyche, to get used to the new environment faster.

How to teach a child to sleep separately

Parental patience should be built up. If the child is coming back at night, take the baby back to bed, rest, iron and sing the lullaby. It is possible to put a children's bed near an adult, gradually pushing back to full relocation in a children's room.

In the evening to refuse active games, viewing of TV programs, the cartoons irritating the kid, overloading the information. Be sure to feed the baby before bedtime, bathe with the use of aromatic, soothing agents. It is recommended to add lavender broth to the water. The product soothes the child's psyche and helps the baby fall asleep as soon as possible.

When the baby cries at night, calls the parents, you should come to calm down.

How to teach a child to sleep alone at 4-7 years of age

In preschool age, a crumb should sleep peacefully in a separate room. Otherwise, it shows that the baby:

  • the mother, the pope have different positions regarding the joint rest;
  • lack of awareness of the negative impact on the mental development of the crumb.

From the child's side, the main reasons for not moving to a separate room are:

  1. Lack of desire – parents should be persistent. The kid should understand that the opinion of the majority is more important, Mom, Dad should obey.
  2. The fetters that are eliminated by turning on the night-lamp. We can go around the monsters, show the baby they're gone. Don't instill fears. If the child is afraid, do not ignore, you need to calm down.
  3. Games, watching TV before bedtime. Before you go to bed you should refuse from moving classes, watching TV. Active actions overload the child in 2, 3, 5 years, characters from cartoons frighten.

How do you teach your child to sleep apart from their parents?


  1. Make the right time for change. Moving to a separate room to coincide with the holiday, the end of the repair of the children's room.
  2. “opinion of the authorities”. Every child has a family member who is being listened to, asked for help, respected, considered ideal.
  3. Think of a resting ritual: bathing, reading books, discussing daytime events.
  4. Reward. After each night spent separately baby should be praised, cook for dinner favorite dish. It is acceptable to please your baby with a trip to the zoo, circus.
  5. Clear refusal. Try to ignore the whims as much as possible.
  6. Explain the benefits of a separate sleep.
  7. Medium activity in the evening, avoid watching TV.

There are many advantages, disadvantages of having children and parents together. It is recommended to wean from joint rest at the age of 2 years, in the period of development of independence. The main rule is to carry out the “relocation” procedure gradually, without pressure.


Method of weaning a child from sleep with parents

How to teach a child to sleep with parents

Little children are often allowed to sleep in the same bed with their mother. It's up to each parent to decide for themselves. But this issue has its consequences that need to be taken into account when addressing this issue. Pediatricians don't have an accurate opinion on this.

The pros and cons of sleeping together

To the benefits of sleeping in a parent's bed:

  • convenience for baby and mother;
  • body contact;

Infants who are used to feeling warm, breathing and heartbeat of their mothers all the time are not used to sleeping separately. In your crib your baby is lonely and scary.

If your baby cries often at night, you can go to bed together. This will keep you calm and awake. At the slightest krashcheniya karapuza, mom can immediately give him a breast without waking up.

Tiny will eat and fall asleep sweetly next to it.

The body contact with the child is one of the main components. During the night's sleep, the baby usually wakes up about five times to eat. If you feed the mixture, body contact is a little less common, so many mothers decide that the baby should not sleep alone.

From the above advantages, we can assume that a joint sleep is quite acceptable. But this is not the case, there are a few things that will help you make the right choice.

First, there is always the risk of suffocation. Such stories are, of course, mostly considered to be horror stories, but the fact remains. The mother's sleep is very sensitive, but there are cases where the mother has taken a sedative or overworked.

As well as being in Dad's bed should be taken into account. The father of the family will have to either sleep separately or settle for a tiny space on the edge of the bed. It is unlikely that a man will like this state of affairs.

Parental sleep can not be called a deep and complete, when in their bed is a child. The result is that there is little or no night's rest and you get tired in the mornings.

At the same time, there is a gradual need for parents to be there at all times while you're sleeping.

Even if you have unforeseen circumstances when you can't be there physically or want to keep your child overnight at grandma's house, it won't work. That's when you think about how to teach the little one to sleep separately.

Few simple tips to help keep your child asleep together:

  1. Not to put your child into bed if either parent is intoxicated with alcohol, took soothing or hypnotic medications.
  2. Wall and bedding should not leave a gap in which the baby can fall at night.
  3. Matras should be precisely matched to the size of the bed.
  4. Bedding is always washed, ironed and evenly laid on the bed.
  5. Please remove all soft toys, pillows and blankets from the face of the crumbs.

Leave or not to train?

Toddlers who are used to sleeping alone from birth are rarely asked to go to their parents' bed at an older age. This happens only in the case of fear of darkness, approximately at the age of a year and a half

The child begins to cry, scream and hysterics in an attempt to climb up overnight to my mother under the barrel.

You can endlessly convince a child to go to bed separately, but constant battles on this account can lead to nervous exhaustion.

If from the first day of life a child sleeps with parents, it can be weaned only before or after the age of one and a half years. That's why many mothers don't wait for their first fears and anxiety and try to get used to sleeping separately much earlier.

Don't take turns sleeping together and sleeping separately. For example, from birth, the newborn child slept in his crib, and when he reached the age of five months he moved to his mother. In this case, it is very difficult to get used to a separate bed again.

The best time to get used to it at night is about three years old. The child has already overcome all his fears together with adults and has begun to feel like a fully-fledged person who has a place to sleep.

Every child is unique, and there is no exact time frame for weaning. The kids, who were tried to put in their own bed before that age, remember the fear experienced at these moments, and categorically refuse.

In this case, it is better to wait until the kids themselves decides to move to a separate bed. You can't blame him for this, because everyone has different levels of anxiety.

When a second child comes into the family, the question of how to teach a child to sleep with their parents is very acute. Sleeping with the four of us isn't exactly a good idea. Parents can get tired of not sleeping at all, of not being able to rest and be alone.

How to teach your child to sleep with parents

To make this process as painless as possible, you need to be patient and gradually explain to your child why he should move to his crib.

Resid migration can have a negative impact on the emotional and psychological state of the little one.

If you are planning a change of scenery, i.e. a move, or a quick replenishment of the family, or if you are going to get acquainted with the kindergarten, it is better to wait until the period of adaptation to the new circumstances.

Maybe you start with a day's sleep, or at night you can bring it with you. Gradually the karapuz will understand that sleeping separately is not so terrible.

Create a comfortable environment for your child before laying and while sleeping. Think of a special ritual: take a bath, have a soothing massage, read a book or sing a lullaby.

At first you can give your child your hand or your favorite soft toy to make him fall asleep peacefully. And the main thing is that you can't shout or say with an orderly tone that big kids sleep separately.

You don't need to give the impression that a dream is a punishment.

Why not try to start small? The close proximity of the parents' and child's bed will help in solving this problem. Karapuz will realize that the adults are still there, only in the other bed. Over time, you can move the crib further and further.

Establish the sleeping space according to the wishes of the child. He wants to sleep under a blanket of cars, so be it. I want to take a robot or a rubber duck with me – don't argue. Go to the shop together and choose the desk lamp or night lamp that your child likes. All these little things will contribute to a calm and comfortable emotional state of both sides.

In the beginning, the child will sometimes move into bed with you. There's nothing wrong with that. You can wait for your son or daughter to fall asleep and put them back in the crib.

Radio babysitter will be a great helper when the baby is sleeping in another room. This way you can be sure that if you get scared, you can call your mother in the middle of the night, and she will definitely come.

Another “defender” against fear could be a soft toy. You can solemnly entrust her with an important mission – to protect the child's sleep, and in the morning to praise her for the work done.

The child will know that a teddy friend protects him at night.

For children, it is very important when adults praise them. If the child has been sleeping separately for ten days, you can have a little party about it. Invite your grandparents, sandbox friends and celebrate an important event. The main thing that parents can do for their child is to love him or her and keep him or her calm in any situation.

There should be no hysteria or shouting on the part of adults, otherwise there is a risk of psychological trauma.

Make some effort to talk about how the darkness isn't terrible and how your mother will not disappear during your sleep. It is important for the child to make sure that they are taken care of at any time of the day.


How can wean a child from the parent's bed?

How can wean a child to sleep with parents

When sleepless nights are a thing of the past, adults begin to think about how to wean their babies from their parent's bed.

Many women don't move their babies to the crib after the night's feeding, but leave them next to each other until morning. Very quickly gets used to being around the mother and refuses to sleep alone at night.

Sometimes children don't want to leave the parent's bed even after reaching school age.

Slightly about sleeping together

The mother's newborn sleep has many advantages:

  • Mom's breast is more comfortable. He hears her heartbeat, warms up her warmth and smells the milk. In these conditions, the baby sleeps better and suffers less from colic.
  • When a child feels well, he or she wakes up less often and lets his or her mother sleep longer.
  • Woman does not have to get up to take baby out of bed for feeding and put him to bed after eating.
  • Mom can feed newborn baby while she is half asleep. This allows her to sleep better.
  • Together, sleep strengthens the bond between mother and baby.
  • The baby's proximity helps to produce breast milk.
  • If the baby sleeps with the mother in the first months after birth, it develops better. Subsequently, these children are more likely to have stable mental health and a healthy nervous system.

Lack of sleep together:

  • Sleep with the newborn is dangerous. Unfortunately, there are cases when a sleeping mother blocks the baby's access to air or traumatizes it.
  • If in the first months after childbirth a woman sleeps better with the baby, then later a joint dream will exhaust her. An older child spins, pushes, and takes up more space.
  • The child has a negative impact on the intimate life of the parents. A prolonged lack of meaningful intimacy can ruin a marriage.
  • Together, sleeping makes children dependent on their parents and prevents them from becoming independent.
  • When children sleep with their parents, they go to bed with them. It's almost impossible to put them down before.

When should wean a child from sleeping together?

If parents accidentally or intentionally accustomed a child to their bed, wean him or her as early as possible.

All the advantages of sleeping together only matter in the first weeks after birth. As the baby grows up, his need for close contact with his mother will decrease.

As soon as the baby's condition normalizes, he will stop suffering from colic, and his night's sleep will become more prolonged, it is necessary to gradually accustom him to sleep separately.

It is best to begin the migration when the newborn is 3 months old. It is advisable to resettle him before he reaches the age of 1 year. If the optimal time is missed, eviction of the infant must be carried out immediately.

The later the measures are taken, the harder it will be to achieve success. And the longer the adaptation period will be difficult.

When the mother decides to put the baby in bed, he should not be sick. Do not make changes in the life of crumbs during travel, after moving and after vaccination, as well as when the baby feels sick, capricious or behaves restlessly.

How do I get used to a baby's crib up to 1 year old?

First, the baby will be angry and shout a lot. In that case, you have to hold him in your arms, wait until he calms down, and put him back in his crib. We need to be persistent. If the baby refuses to sleep separately on the first night, he should be left next to his mother. But the next day we need to repeat everything.

If a tired baby fell asleep in his crib, then the effort was not in vain. From now on, you should leave the crumb in it as often as possible and for as long as possible.

No breaks should be taken, allowing the baby to spend the whole night with his parents. Even if the mother is very tired, or the family stays overnight, you need to put the baby to bed separately. The slightest relaxation will negate the fruits of many days of effort.

For the baby to get used to the crib more quickly, you need to make it an attractive place. Tiny should only play with toys in it. Playing on a children's mat, sofa and parent's bed should be temporarily postponed.

When the child is in the crib, you need to iron him, talk to him, sing him songs. We can give him a light relaxing massage. If the crib is associated with a pleasant feeling, the baby will be happy to go to bed after the evening bathing.

If he insists on putting the crumb to bed after each night feeding, he will get used to sleeping separately for 2-4 weeks.

Replacement of a child aged 1-3 years

Motivation of a child aged 1-3 years is more difficult to sleep separately. Closer to the age of 1.5, babies start to have various fears. They are afraid of darkness, loneliness, fairytale characters, or death.

If migration coincided with the birth of a younger brother or sister, jealousy would be added to the negative feelings. The firstborn connects unpleasant changes in his life with the birth of a new family member. He thinks he's been sidelined and loved less.

The mother's 24-hour attention to the newborn only increases his suspicions. Therefore, a child should be resettled before the birth of a younger brother or sister. It is better to do this in the first months of pregnancy, when no sign of a future family replenishment is yet visible.

If the move is not made in time, it should be postponed for a few months. Later on, you can move both babies at once. When an infant is placed in a crib together with the firstborn, there is no reason for jealousy.

For the child not to perceive the eviction as a betrayal and not to hate his new bed, it should be carried out gradually.

The crib is first placed in the immediate vicinity of the parent's bed. So that there are no barriers between the furniture and the mother is next to the baby. It is explained that the bed has been enlarged, as it has become crowded.

It is recommended to start the daytime move. We need to put the baby to bed for the day's sleep. When the parents aren't around, it'll be easier for the baby to sleep on a separate bed for the first time.

After the day's sleep, the crib won't seem like a stranger's crib. At night, his mother's intimacy will calm him down. The child needs to hold his hand and talk to him before going to bed. If the mother continues to breastfeed, you can do it while in bed as before.

When the child gets used to it, you need to move the baby furniture a little bit. The changes explain the difficulties with cleaning. You can put a box of your favorite toys between the beds. Their proximity will calm the baby.

The next step is to set the boundary. It's marked with a nightstand, chair or toy cabinet. Later the distance between the furniture is increased, pushing the crib to the wall.

To take the child to a separate room until he turns 3 years old, it is not worth it. At this age, kids are having a hard time with loneliness.

How to wean a child over 3 years old from a parent's bed?

Children over 3 years old compare themselves to adults and try to imitate them. While the role of parents remains paramount, the child seeks to act independently of them by refusing to obey their demands. At a certain point, the child starts to oppose the wishes of adults.

To evict a child over 3 years of age from the matrimonial bed, it is necessary to use his or her natural desire for independence.

Let him or her create his or her own independent world. It is recommended to organize a trip to the shop and ask the child to choose a bed. The option to choose will inspire him. He will gladly run to choose the furniture, then will be proud to watch its transportation and installation.

Before buying a bed you can offer your baby to move to a separate room. Very many children like this prospect, especially if the room plans to make repairs taking into account the interest of the baby.

For example, to cover the walls with wallpaper or hang curtains with his favorite character. If the child is not ready to move to a separate room at once, do not insist.

The new cot is temporarily installed next to the parent.

It is necessary to emphasize the differences between adult and children's furniture. The kid is offered to choose bed-clothes with bright drawings.

If it was possible to put the child in a separate room, but it resorts to parents every night, it is uncomfortable and lonely.

Can cope with loneliness favourite soft toy. She needs to be put to bed before the baby does. A teddy bear or bunny will motivate a child to go to bed. When his mother puts him down and sings the usual songs, she needs to leave, saying that instead she leaves a bunny.

Cope with the fear of darkness will help the baby night light. It's also better to choose him together. Favorite character, color or beautiful shape of the night light will cause a child to have pleasant emotions, dispelling his fears. As soon as the baby's anxiety decreases, the night light should be removed. Otherwise, he won't be able to sleep in the dark even after reaching adulthood.

Advanced recommendations

After the move, you should give your baby as much time as possible. It is the fear of being left without maternal love that prevents a child from leaving the parental bed in time. You have to hold him more often, hug him, kiss him, listen to his requests and respond to them.

You have to try to create a certain ritual of going to bed and steadily follow him, without changing the sequence of actions. Bathing, brushing, changing into pajamas, hugs, kissing, and a song for the night – everything should be repeated every day to the smallest detail. This will convince the child of the stability of the world and the permanence of parental love.


How to teach a child to sleep with parents?

How to teach a child to sleep with parents

Together with the baby is very comfortable for him and his mother. A child who has been in a warm, soft and tight space for nine months does not feel very comfortable in a crib. He, accustomed to his mother's heartbeat and her breathing, is lonely and afraid to remain without the usual sounds and feelings.

Constant contact with his mother gives the baby a sense of security and peace of mind

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