How to teach a child to sleep with their mother: 12 best ways to
How to teach a child to sleep with their mother: good tips
>> Children > How to teach a child to sleep with their mother: some tips
After the birth of the baby, many mothers take their newborns to bed. This is very convenient, especially since the baby is still young and he constantly needs tenderness and care. But after a while, when the child becomes older, it becomes a problem for the whole family. The question arises: “How can wean a child to sleep with his mother?”
- Is there such a need to teach a child to sleep with her mother?
- The newborn baby sleeps with her mother: what do we do?
- Children aged 1 year and over: how to teach them to sleep separately?
- 12 ways
Is there such a need to teach a child to sleep with their mother?
This issue has not been resolved to this day. All pediatricians are divided into two groups. Some believe that this is necessary at the initial stage, while others argue that there is no need to do so.
All of us know about a TV show such as “Dr. Komarovski's School”, so it belongs to the first group of specialists. Komarowski claims that being next to his mother, the child feels protected, thus his sleep becomes calm, and therefore the child and mother will sleep well. But there is an opinion of the second group of specialists:
- But the second group of specialists is also of the opinion that if you get used to sleeping with parents, the child will start to prevent parents from living a full-fledged adult life, like husband and wife. Of course, that's an unverified fact. I'd rather have a good sleepy wife than be angry about the lack of sleep. In any case, people who love each other must understand that it is important for them at this stage in their lives.
- Ether one of the arguments that in their dreams she can strangle their baby. But we think it's absurd. Since the mother's sleep is very sensitive, she wakes up for any reason, even if the baby just turns around in the crib on the barrel.
In any case, the safety rules must be observed. For example, if a woman has taken a medicine (or alcoholic beverages) that is responsible for the sensitivity, before going to bed, make sure that the child has a sheet in front of her nose or isn't t tangled in her own pillow.
To get the baby to sleep with her mother at any time, only so is it necessary? After all, it's Mom who's going to be the first one to get into trouble. Despite that, we'll tell you how to teach the baby to sleep with her mother.
The newborn baby is sleeping with her mother: what do I do?
You are discharged from the hospital and you are at home with the baby. The question is, how do you get the baby to sleep in his crib? The process will be long, especially if the baby is breastfed. Few waysto put your baby to bed:
- The first and most common way to get your baby to sleep is to let him sleep in your bed, after carefully taking him to his place. If your child wakes up in the morning and doesn't cry out of fear, you can continue to use this method.
- There are times when kids don't want to sleep in their own place because they're not comfortable there. His bed should be made in such a way that it was warm and comfortable, and most importantly, resembled his mother's warm belly. In addition to the above, you can warm up the place where the baby will sleep. It is enough to put a hot-water bottle in there and put the baby in it.
- One more important rule. If you decide to have a separate dream: the baby in his crib, parents in his own, then do not take the child from time to time. Let him understand that you are persistent and you will not be broken by anything.
- If the child is used to falling asleep next to his mother, you can take his pen and hold it until he falls asleep. This method also works.
Now let's talk about older children.
Children 1 year old and older: how do you get used to sleeping alone?
After 1 year olda child has to understand that sleeping with parents is not good, he has his own bed – this is his place to sleep. What to do if a child comes to his or her parents at night? First of all, parents need to be patient and ready for the difficult process of weaning. Remember one main rule – not to harm the child's psycho-emotional state.
It is worth remembering that weaning should be carried out in the event that the child will not be exposed to different stressful conditions.
This may be the birth of a second or subsequent child, the move to a new place of residence, if the child is ill and hospitalized, or the first time he or she goes to day care.
- In the first days of weaning, it is not recommended to put the child to bed alone immediately. You don't have to wean it, it's got to be gradual. For example, make a small fence, it could be a blanket or pillow. Make sure your child cannot touch you.
- Sleep should be comfortable.
Make sure your child's crib is comfortable. Bed linen is clean, mattress, blanket and pillow are soft. There should be cozy and warmth so that the baby wants to go back to sleep there.
- For children over two years old you can arrange a festive move to their place. And also choose your bed linen with him, move his favorite toys.
He should already know that he's grown up and now he'll have to sleep alone.
- How it's said to be necessary to wean him up gradually, start the process from his day's sleep. If it's breast-feeding, we put the baby to bed after feeding. If your child is over 2 years old, then just stay close to your baby.
Sometimes kids refuse to listen to their parents, start crying and getting hysterical. No need to scold him, try to calm him down and put him in his crib.
- Before you teach your child to sleep in his place, you need to prepare his room. Must be close to their favorite toys, a little nightgown party and a favorite bedtime story.
- Practically all kids react violently to the fact that they will have to sleep away from their mother. In this case, place his crib with yours. Then he'll see you even if he wakes up at night. Slowly move his crib away from yours for a while, getting him used to sleeping apart from you. Do everything consistently and slowly.
- For the child to feel self-reliant, encourage their actions, including moving them to their place. Don't let him sleep if he wants to sleep with a big soft toy. Let him choose for himself, and in everything he does as far as sleep is concerned. In this way, you increase his self-esteem by letting him know that he's already big.
This means that he won't be hysterical when he moves to a new bed.
- Every child has his own authoritative personality – a grandmother, grandfather, uncle or aunt. Then ask them to have a conversation with the child so he doesn't come to his parents at night. Don't forget to praise your child.
If he sleeps in his place for a week, then buy him a medal for children, for the fact that he is so brave and independent.
- Don't forget that the baby can come to you almost every night. When you wake up and notice it, be sure to move it to its place, sit with it for a while. Once the baby has fallen asleep, you can go to bed in peace.
- For your child not to come to your bed at night and fall asleep at night, be sure to make sure your baby plays peace games before going to bed, and do not turn on the TV, especially the cartoons.
It is better to feed the child before going to bed with a light yoghurt or to give him a glass of warm tea, and it is also possible to buy him with a bath foam, only buy lavender foam, which has a soothing effect.
- Make sure to establish a permanent tradition in your life.
For example, you can first bathe the baby, then give him a special children's tea (for example, “Mom's fairy tale”) and read an interesting fairy tale at the end of the day. That way, the baby will know it's time for him to go to bed and not be capricious. The main thing is to give your child love, care and understanding.
- If the baby wakes up in a dream and calls his parents at night, do not be lazy and come to his every call. Support your baby in everything.
White to wean your baby from the night's sleep together, don't forget that you are first and foremost for him parents who want only good things. Even at such a young age, the child should already understand this and fall asleep independently in his crib. Be your child's ally and friend, then the problems will disappear.
Teach your baby to sleep with his mother
Sleeping together with a newborn baby has many benefits not only for the convenience of adult family members, but also for the needs of the baby.
This choice of sleeping space for the baby is very convenient, as it provides most of the quiet nights. Mom, it's a little easier to take care of the baby.
Such a joint sleep carries the danger that the mother, being in a drowsy state, can crush the baby.
Sleep sensitivity, even if it is stimulated by the mother's instinct, is different. And women don't have that instinct right after they're born babies. But even so, a lot of moms still sleep with their kids in the same bed. Over time, however, it becomes uncomfortable for a number of reasons. And it's time to wean the child from sleeping together.
Why is it recommended to sleep together?
If the mother and the baby sleep together, it is considered to be very healthy for the baby.
We spend 38-42 weeks under the mother's heart, and in her stomach, in a limited space, the newborn does not feel safe in this vast and hostile world. And the baby can be a little scary. Mom's smell, her warmth, her heartbeat, if pressed against her, has a calming effect on the baby.
Sleep together not only satisfies the need for mom's presence and close contact with her, but also reduces the risk of sudden infant death in her sleep.
When the baby is tormented by colic, if it is not very intense, mom's hand on the baby's tummy may be enough to relieve anxiety and sleep well. No warm diapers or dry heat in the form of semolina (salt) heated in a frying pan can replace human heat.
Especially if it's Mom's hand. Some kids are used to falling asleep on Mom's stomach. They get warm and feel safe.
This improves their sleep quality. Even her mother, despite the fact that she has to feed the baby and sleep sensitively, has time to rest when sleeping together, anyway, she has more time left on this one than if she was running to another room and “persuaded” the capricious child to sleep.
In addition, some newborns prefer to sleep on the tummy. They try to flip over and if they can't do it themselves (and at an early age they can't do it yet) they calm down only when they're put on their stomachs. The stomach posture is good for many, but is considered potentially dangerous.
The newborn cannot turn away if she hides her nose in her pillow.
He won't even try to free herself if something clogs her nose, just suffocates.
Therefore, leaving the baby for the whole night (some newborns sleep for 6 hours or more at night) for the mother herself can be scary.
But allowing the baby to lie on his side for a few hours on his stomach seems less risky. Thus, the main reasons pediatricians give for sleeping with your mother are:
- more relaxed sleep for the child;
- Opportunity to rest for your mother.
The arguments against sleeping with parents are that such a dream interferes with the couple's relationship and the mother can crush and cripple the baby in her sleep. Both arguments are quite controversial.
Any couple with a normal relationship between spouses will be able to resolve their relationship without harming the health of the child or hurting each other. In the second case, if the mother does not sleep very sensitively or she is very large and is afraid to harm her bloodstream, you can buy a cocoon for the newborns as an option.
In it, and the baby will sleep better, and the mother will be quiet. Or to find some other solution without taking your baby away from you at the age of the newborn.
Of course, it is time to teach the child at the age of 9-12 months to become self-sufficient. Anyway, it's okay to start this process. Hurry up, slam the door and leave the baby alone with his fear or resentment. Get the baby used to the crib without hysteria and gradually.
Why should a child be taught to sleep on his own?
The reason for this is more than one. A child who can fall asleep and sleep alone has fewer problems falling asleep in day care. He gets used to minor fears of suppressing himself, not to react acutely to everyday noises, etc.
e. In addition, parents can decide on another child who also needs a place on the parent's bed. The argument is “give way to a brother/sister”, not the best for a 3-year-old kid. And for an older child, too.
This can cause resentment, anger, jealousy, and other negative feelings for the child born. If there is another child in the family, it is a bit late to evict the older offspring from the parent's bed.
Of course, sooner or later the child will want to have his own bed, his own corner. But you shouldn't expect it to happen until it's over, because for adult children, sleeping in a parent's bed isn't exactly good.
Children are different, some of them get used to sleeping on their own, and they can fall asleep all night long for a year. Some under 3 years of age still need a mother at their side and only sleep tightly next to her.
And even after getting used to sleeping on their crib, these children may need the effect of being present, i.e. require someone to sit and hold their hands while they fall asleep with them, or what they say.
What would minimize the difficulties in the future baby should promptly begin to get accustomed to independent sleep.
Example, laying your half-year-old baby with you at night, during the day you can quite put it in the arena. If he doesn't want to fall asleep in his crib, offer him a soft toy. Of course, it won't replace the mother, but it can help the sleeping process.
How do you teach your baby to sleep on his own?
How do you teach him to sleep with his mother or how do you teach him to sleep on his own? The recommendations depend on the age of the child. For a child under a year, you can most often find the thesis: give him a toy.
This is the right advice. But one thing's not gonna be enough.
In order not to cause yourself problems in the future, you need to start taking care of a separate dream from the first days of life crumbs and remember a few simple tips:
- young manege should get used to it as soon as possible;
- Teach your child to sleep even during the daytime when he or she is healthy (if the start of the process is not healthy, negative associations will be formed in the child);
- comply with the regime (of the day in general, and sleep in particular);
- Respect the measure, consistency and gentle perseverance of everything;
- not break the child's habits, which you yourself have created, but gradually bring up new ones;
- In the afternoon, the child should be tired physically and intellectually in due measure;
- the baby should get maximum communication with the mother in the afternoon;
- the baby should not be overtired.
Of course, at the age of the newborn, after feeding at 24.00 a crumb can be placed under your mother's side. But the rest of the time, especially in the daytime, the baby lies in his crib, a short waking hours playing it, and sleeps in the daytime on his mattress, too, in his bed. By the time a month comes, a child is able to recognize his or her bed, his or her stroller.
He begins to understand that there is his or her personal territory, a dedicated and limited area of the big world, which is safer than the rest of the world.
To be in bed is not the same as in the mother's stomach, but is better than on a large bed, for example. Realizing that his bed and only his baby won't feel the need to sleep with his mother in the future.
He will understand that this is the place where he can lie as he pleases, on his side, on his stomach, on his back, touching all the handles.
You can let your baby fall asleep next to her mother, on her bed, on her stomach or underneath her side, and then move her to bed. First it's worth doing during the day and then during the night's sleep. Waking up in bed, the child will gradually get used to seeing the edges of the arena around him. Therefore, he will be able to fall asleep, seeing them, without much difficulty.
The next step is the already mentioned toy assistant – it can be a soft toy, or any favorite baby trinket, with which he is quiet and comfortable.
In the first weeks, and maybe a couple of months, you'll have to sit next to the baby after he's been swamped and put into bed.
And if he has already turned 9 months old, he needs to be put to bed without sickness, but to hold his hand before going to bed, to sing a song and tell a fairy tale – it's a ritual that will help the baby sleep well.
Do not start the process by putting the baby down, leaving and closing the door behind you, regardless of the child's roar, just to get what you want. You shouldn't suppress the will of the crumbs. If he cannot sleep alone at once, he needs to be accustomed to it step by step.
Step and consistency is the guarantee of success. It is possible to put the child in the manege, which is close to the parent's bed. When there are no problems with falling asleep, the playpen can be pushed aside, increasing the distance (as far as the room allows) between you and the child.
In the end, it will be possible to put the playpen in the nursery.
Conditions and safety in the child are associated with repeated actions (of course, not traumatic). For example, we played with Dad, bought, told a fairy tale, fell asleep. Observance of a mode and uniform actions cause at the kid proof associative communications.
Therefore in due course to lie down in a bed for it will mean strongly and quietly to fall asleep. A very important moment in the process of communicating with the child is the calmness and patience of the parents. Not everything will work out because they want it to, and at a rate they find acceptable.
The baby may have a different opinion.
The child needs to be given maximum attention during the day. So that he can be satisfied with the communication with you, and at night did not need contact with your mother, or needed less. It will be easier and quicker to fall asleep and less (less often) to wake up.
When he is tired enough, he will be happy to fall asleep in his bed, and not only next to his mother, or her head on her stomach. He'll be fine with a pillow. If the child is overtired, he doesn't know what's going on, he can't sleep, he can't sleep, and he's gonna bobble.
In such a situation, it's hard to get him to sleep, both in the playpensary and on the parent's bed.
And if, despite all your efforts, the child is sleeping badly, show him to a specialist (neurologist, psychologist) and think about your relationship.
You're sure you want your baby to move from the box to his bed.
If you're systematically raising the crumb with determination and perseverance, the most capricious child will eventually get used to the rules. If that doesn't happen, then the root of the problem is much deeper than it seems at first glance.
And maybe it's not about raising the child. Maybe the couple need help.
12 ways to teach a child to sleep with their mother
A small pectoral lump smelling of milk is pressed against you and sneezes next to you – what could be better? But is it so harmless to have a dream with Mom and the baby together? What should young mothers do to have a good night's rest, not afraid to move because of the close presence of the baby? This article gives tips on how to teach a child to sleep with their mother, and you will also learn what child pediatricians and psychologists think about it, and young mothers will share their experience of solving such problems.
If your favorite child falls asleep only when it feels close to one of the parents, it is not something out of the ordinary. This state of affairs is easy to explain because the baby was inseparable from his mother for nine months, lived in the womb in unison with the beat of the mother's heart, and was comfortable and warm.
Born into the world, he is still connected to his mother, because she is the source of his food and the main person who cares for him, with her calmly and serenely.
Donald Woods Winnickot, in his Little Children and Their Mothers, writes: “An individual's mental health from the very first days is laid down by his mother, providing what I call the “facilitating environment”, in which the natural development of the child takes place in accordance with hereditary patterns. The mother – without thinking or knowing – lays the foundations of a mentally healthy person. And sleeping a baby next to the person who produced it is one of the steps towards this health.
If the child grows up in a family where they are not used to sleeping with their mother from birth, they are unlikely to face this problem. This decision should be made directly by parents, weighing all the positive and negative sides.
If the mother has patience during the period when the baby wakes up at night to eat, she will not face the problem of sleeping together. Naturally, it is very difficult for a young woman who has only given birth to a baby to get up several times a night to feed the child. That's why moms choose an easier way to sleep with the baby.
Positive and negative aspects of sleeping together
To determine whether it is necessary to wean a child from sleeping together with parents, first of all, it is worth knowing the positive and negative aspects of this process.
- The baby is warm and comfortable, the emotional connection that began in the womb continues;
- Mom is better able to cope with night feeding, the baby is always in control;
- From the mother's warmth, its presence until the age of three months, the child calms down more quickly, suffers less intestinal colic;
- And the baby and mother sleep better.
The first and very serious reason to put your baby in a separate bed is to eliminate the risk of crushing your baby in his sleep. Such cases have been known for a long time, and are still frequent now.
If a woman falls asleep during feeding, her breasts may accidentally block her baby's breath. It happens that in a dream a woman will simply turn over carelessly and this ends in tragic consequences.
Such risks must be taken into account for young mothers and those who are forced to take a sedative or sleeping pills for the night.
Sleeping with Daddy and Mom is unhygienic and harmful to the baby's health: the baby automatically receives all the viruses, infections from the parents.
Lack of a full sexual life for parents
Midway through the minuses, it is necessary to remember the father, who is relegated to the background. A sleeping child between parents can lead to a lack of a full sexual life, which can lead to disagreements and problems in the relationship between spouses.
The famous children's pediatrician, Doctor of Medical Sciences, Komarovskiy Eugene Olegovich says: “We can not make a child happy at the cost of his father's misfortune. This doctor advises mothers, who have decided to sleep with their children, to listen to the opinion of the father and to involve him in the upbringing of the child.
If, however, by mutual decision of the parents, the child sleeps with them, it is necessary to adhere to some advice from doctors.
After taking alcoholic beverages, you should never take your child to bed.
No baby should be placed between mom and dad. The alternative is a place between the mother and the wall, plus an extra blanket border between them, so that the baby does not roll under the mother.
Bed linen should be exactly matched to the size of the bed, near the baby's face there should be no blankets or pillows. There should be no gaps between the bed, mattress and wall.
It is important to provide a sleeping place for the infant with the recommended, in such cases, stiffness of the mattress, otherwise there is a risk of scoliosis. The child should have a blanket, sleeping under a blanket is dangerous for the baby's life.
In addition, there is a risk of the baby's hypothermia if the blanket is crawled off by the parents' fault.
There is a strong argument for parents to understand why you need to sleep separately from the baby.
Separate sleep from the first days of life allows you to develop an independent personality in a little man. The concept of a child's own territory is formed: his room, bed. Modern means of communication, such as radio babysitting, will help the mother to hear the crying of the child and to react to it in time.
As an option, the cradle can be placed in the parent's bedroom, but divided into separate areas of children's and adults' space.
If a child is 4 years old and still sleeping in his mother's bed, it is likely that this will lead to the child's inability to make decisions and dependencies on his mother even in small things in the future.
If the child is 4 years old or older and still sleeping with his mother, it is time to think about it. There may be two reasons: the child has psychological problems or you have difficulties in your personal life. In fact, this problem is solvable, but you need to know how to organize the process of weaning, so that for the baby it was not a psychological trauma.
Of course, abnormal in every sense will be a night stay together with a great-aged child in the same bed with his mother. When to wean and how to wean – questions that concern parents sleeping with their baby